


Don't Ask Stupid Questions.

by Save_Your_Brother_And_My_Unicorn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: #NotEvenSorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:22:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Save_Your_Brother_And_My_Unicorn/pseuds/Save_Your_Brother_And_My_Unicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically Cas is drunk..<br/>I've only ever done a drunk!character once before in my 'I Love You ____ Winchester' story, criticism is welcome because this is my second time writing anyone drunk. Please tell me what you think! It will be greatly appreciated Unicorns!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Ask Stupid Questions.

Sam and Dean were hurrying as fast as they could to get their research done so that they could go on a hunt to catch the supernatural monster that Bobby had tipped them off about. They had called Cas, but he didn't pick up. They had finished, packed up, and were almost out the door when Castiel stumbled through doorway. Castiel, looked up at them and said "I got your message. It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating."

The both of them look at each other, then back at Cas, and Sam said "Whats wrong with you? Are you... drunk?" as he crossed his arms.

The angel suddenly looked very offended and said "No!" His facial muscles then relaxed and he said "... Yes"

Dean the piped in and said "What the Hell happened to you?"

"I found a liquor store"

"And?"

"I drank it... Why did you call me?"

The boys remained silent for a moment and Castiel started to walk towards them, stumbling as he did. They both rushed over and helped Cas up. "Woah" said Dean. "There you go. Easy." said Sam as they were helping him. Cas, of course, was acting like nothing happened. Sam was slightly worried for him though and asked "You okay?"

Castiel reached an arm around Sam and whispered in his ear "Don't ask stupid questions." When Dean heard this he couldn't help but give his signature smirk. "Alright guys." he said "We've gotta go before this thing kills another virgin." Sam nodded and helped Cas out to the Impala.

When they were all finally in the car, after Castiel had struggled with it for a good five minutes, they were off to catch their monster.

About halfway there, Cas decided to share some opinions he had formed about Dean.

"Your atrocious is driving." he said. Dean's eyes widened "What did you just say?" he said, little louder than his usual tone.

"I said your driving is amphibious, Dan. Apparently so is you hetero." he replied nonchalantly. He stared out the window of the car as if he had not just insulted Dean. "Apparently so is my what??" Dean said. The angel didn't reply, but instead continued looking ta the moving landscape outside the car. Sam and Dean looked at each other. This was going to be a long trip.

A few minutes later Castiel decided that the car was too quiet...

"Sam you need to cut your hurr." he yelled. "What?" said Sam, turning to face the angel. "Er serd yer nerd ter cert yer hurr." Cas said. "Cas, why are you talking like that?" replied Sam. "lerk whert?" said Cas.

"DUDE." Dean interrupted, "Cas! Man! You gotta stop!" He had clearly had enough of Castiel being drunk.

The two in the front heard the one in the back mumble something. "What'd you say, Cas?" Dean said

"I said you breathe with the mouth of a goat, Dean!" the angel shouted. He crossed his arms and started to pout. Sam and Dean sat wide eyed at each other. Silently.

Castiel started bobbing his head back and forth. He stopped after a few moments. But Sam and Dean wished that bobbing his head was the worst of it.

Castiel. Started. Singing.

Not singing like normal people do, no no no. Castiel was singing in derp. It went a little something like this.

HERRRRT EEEERRF THER MMEEEERRRMERRRRNNTT!

HERRRRT EEEERRF THER MMEEEERRRMERRRRNNTT!

 

Sam couldn't take it anymore. He jumped in the back seat and duct-taped the angels mouth shut. He then proceeded to duct-tape the angels arms together so that he couldn't play with Sam's hair anymore. "Wow.. Sam.. I uh.. I didn't know you were so kinky." Dean said as he smirked. Sam shot the older brother a glare. "Shut up, man" he said.

Sam finally climbed back into the passenger seat, and calmed down. Castiel had fallen asleep and they had gotten to their destination.

Sam and Dean ganked their monster and headed back to the Impala, only to see Castiel playing with the window. He had his mouth on it, as wide as it could possibly go, his cheeks were puffed out, and he was making the window go up and down.

Dean eyes widened "Oh, no, he is not marking up Baby! There ain't no way!"

They rushed over to the car and Dean opened Cas's door.

"I figured you were busy, Dean. I didn't want to distract you." he said

"Cas, your drunk, you need to go back to sleep."

"I am no longer drunk, Dean. I am completely sober. I have simply discovered a game that involves your 'Babys' window. It gives me a childish joy."

Sam and Dean just ignored him and got in the Impala and headed back to the Bunker.

Castiel continued to play his game with the window... the entire... ride... home...

At least he wasn't drunk....


End file.
